Its been Long. I am not gonna give any excuses. whats the point really. The New year has come sooner than expected. I was not ready for it. I needed more time. who am I to stop time. Oh boy where do I start? September was the hardest time for me. saying bye to my family and friends. On the last day I left, There is no where else I would have rather be than at my Big Boy's Big day! The last day I saw him is when he became a man of responsibilities, a man with a future to share with a love one. A man. Hearing me say that gives me goose bumps. He has been there for me all the time. The boy. When I needed to vent, When I needed to cry, when I needed a good time to forget the pain. He was there when i didn't need him, sitting there in silence reading his book, looking up once in awhile letting me know he is there, when i am ready to talk. God I miss that. I miss my brother, my son, My Friend. Hope your new year will be better than mine Nightwatch. I LOVE YOU!
Why do I think mine will not be as great? well New year eve, I was sitting alone in my room and reading my Tarot. It never worked this last 2 years since I got them as a gift from someone. 2 mths ago it started to work. I guess I had to leave the country for it to work. So as I was sitting in my dark room, asking all these questions I had in my head abt the coming year. I was taken back, in fact shocked and heart broken. I tried it again again and the same answer kept popping up. I didn't know what to do, I walked away and came back an hour later and the same answers I got.
I will be betrayed by a friend. NOT AGAIN ! oh man. This sucks, I am tired of ppl saying they are my friends and dying to put me down. what the fuck is wrong with these ppl?! Talk abt quick action. The betrayal has already begun. By a very trusted one in fact. I wonder if this person is sitting somewhere and going wow I have out smarted that little bitch. Never mind if I am wrong and my paranoia is taking the better of me. Better safe than sorry. My guard was up the moment the phone rang. Now the question is do I sit and wait for you to fess up and forgive you or use every once of energy I have to make your life miserable or ignore you. You know what I am gonna leave it to you. You decide ...call me and let me know what you would like this new year. This is my gift to you, you decide your fate.
So till we chat ...I mean till you talk and I listen
M.T
