Confession of an Ex Trend kid part 2

A few days later ...

So there I was, on my couch feeling like a winner, after a 5 min fight to the death with a 6 year old for the remote control. Nothing to watch in particular just the usual channel surfing. So what if he was in the middle of show called 'Ben 10'.

Than there it was a familiar music and I was like ... No way. OMG I cant believe they are showing Beverly Hills 90210, the very 1st season at that. I turned to the Brat and said ...

Me: hey you know I used to watch this when I was a kid. It was the coolest show than.

Brat: Yucks, how old is this?

Me: not so old. Let me see ... maybe, Twen ... tter ... tee ... hrrmm years ago perhaps.

Brat: WHAT !!??!! 20 years ago?! Yucky ... they all look so ugly, and old.

Me: (taking a closer look and realised the Brat is right, I am kinda even embarrassed to admit I used to like the show.) Ya maybe but it was cool than and my brother used to buy me the T-shirts and books, everything Beverly Hills. I never missed a show. Mom and Dad hated the show and nagged me for watching it. I was so into it you know. See the guy here ... Brandon, Jason Priestley. oh my, I used to have a major crush on him. All girls did, and the boys tried to have his hair too. I was soooo in love.

Brat: that short guy? He is short like me and his hair looks funny. You love this funny guy? haaahahaaaa. That's so funny. Haaaahaahaa

Me: Look here you midget, I was young ok, when you are young you like things that are in. Beverly Hills was 'IN' at that time and it was COOL!

Brat: You mean like how Ben 10 is cool now and I like to wear all Ben 10 things?

Me: Yes Exactly, you got my point.

Brat: like how Kim possible is cool now, because she soooo sexy and the Jonas Brothers are cool too?

Me: Hmm I see where you are going with this. Well ... Short One ... Lesson learnt. Here is the remote ... knock yourself out. By the way, 1 day when you are my age you are so going to be embarrassed you used to like these stuff. Till than I need to go now and try to erase the memories of me proudly wearing my Beverly Hills T-shirts as a kid.

M.T

Confession of an ex trend kid Part 1

A convo with a 6 year old Brat

I enter the room...

Me : Oi, why did you switch off the telly?

Brat : I wasn't watching TV

Me : Don't lie to me, I heard the TV, oh man...were you watching 'Myth Busters' again. You know every bloody time you watch that you start having crazy ideas to blow up something in the house!

Brat : Nope not 'myth busters'

Me : give me the remote you little monster....wat the? seriously...Hannah Montana?! I thought you said you are so over that chick and that she is so last year!

Brat : I AM NOT WATCHING HER!!! The Jonas Brothers are on the show today.

Me : That's even worst. They are like the 3 stooges just gay. Seriously Jonas Brothers?...how can you sing to 'Kiss', rap to 'Fort Minor' and actually like the Jonas Brothers?

Brat : They are OK, girls like them. So they must be cool.

Me : well I guess you are right, at least they play instruments. Its not as if its the Backstreet boys or something.

Brat : who are the backstreet boys? Never mind. Can you go away now PLEASE. 'Kim Possible' is coming soon.

Me : KIM POSSIBLE?! That's a girls Cartoon. I really worry about you, Pls tell me 'soulja boy' is guest starring in this one.

Brat : Nope no one. I just watch it cause she sooooo Sexy! She kicks the bad guys butt and still looks Sexy. Soooooo Sexy. Hmmmm.....GO AWAY!

Me : Fine, I'm Leaving. Bloody weirdo.

Brat : I HEARD THAT!

Me : OH YA. HEAR THIS, THE JONAS BROTHERS ARE NOT COOL!!!

M.T

Someone...Anyone Get Me Out Of Here!

Anger...

Anger, who has not been, at one point or another? Totally outraged and enraged? But how do you react in that state? Some brood, which is what I do by the way. Some become abusive and there are few who completely lose it and feel that their fists should do the talking. Unfortunately, these select few also feel that only their point of view is correct and there are no grey areas. Grey areas, which by the way, they use to their own ends when the shoe is on their foot. They don't seem to realize that sometimes not everything is cut and dried and that a fine line needs to walked to keep the peace. They also don't seem to realize that someday they are going to pick on the wrong person whom is going to knock the stuffing out of them or worse, sic the cops on them. Use the grey matter god gave you child. Don't let your pride, feelings of superiority or your so called "righteousness" stop you from thinking things through. Ultimately, there may come a time you nay need to turn to this person for help and they may not be there when you really need them. Till next time,

Our thought for the day,

If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will avoid a hundred days of sorrow.

-Nightwatch

Whats with you guys and the computer...seriously

Oh man that is hilarious. Hmm actually where have I seen that before? oh ya I have seen a grown man do it almost every weekend. Well at least a little milder, how shall I put it...as delicately as possible...more maturely? I guess, we all agree that how important it is to stick to the facts. Don't wanna mess with 'Facts' do we now. Coming back to the video the guy who uploaded it not only translated it for our amusement he also mentions at the beginning of the video that, quote " this little retard is the worst example of the German people...seriously" I wonder what he meant by that...hmm I guess it will stay a mystery.

SO, what I have to put up with, which is plenty by the way, you being a pathological idiot and all...hey wait is that even a condition? Anyways I guess we are even. You know what I mean...for instance Smelly feet, temperamental mood swings, not understandable accusations ? Can't this be an expression of love in an ulterior degree ? Yes it can, you idiot!

M.T

Heel or not to Heel

As much as I would love to wear heels every waking moment of my day, I can't. It fucking hurts too much. I remember the good old days when I could wear heels to work stay in it for 8 hrs, go on to clubs and dance in them for 3 hrs and head back home and do it all over again the next day and not feel a thing. Now I just have to look at a cute pair of heels on the display and I feel this unimaginable pain shooting up my ankle. Heels made me walk better, dance better, made me look 4 inches taller and gave me so much confidence out of no where. Its as if they have magical powers or something. Men do take notice of you more, they will deny it but its true. Men do care if your in heels or not. Well short Men don't appreciate it of course but the others do. Simply because its changes our persona. We tend to flirt a little more than on normal days when we have our flats on. Maybe porn has a huge part to play. Men started noticing women's heels since the breakthrough of porn in the Internet. Ladies don't believe me go and do some research. go through your guy's porn collection if he has any and you will find that when 90% of the women while "working" have their heels on. Its all about leaving the heels on baby!

Coming back to old me, not able to wear them..hrmm ...I mean walk in them as much as I would love to, Well I am not in my 20's anymore. the longer I am in it the more my veins start to show. Nerves that I didn't even know existed hurt to much. Its time to except that and let it go. If I want to be walking without the help of a walker when I am 70, Than I choose not to be sexy now and be able to run away from my grandchildren one day. I guess I have no choice but to depend on my good looks and sense of humor for now...bloody hell.

M.T

A tribute...

Places change, things come and go. babies born, people die, people change but some things are constant. Your family, the friends who stand by you through the good and the bad. The fall was long, and I'm still picking up the pieces. But I will rise again and I will shine brighter then before. When that happens you won't be forgotten. A big thank you to all of you who are standing by me and helping me get on my feet and for those of you whom doubted... Till next time,

Our thought for the day,

Women are the bloodthirsty sex. Males get the reputation, but it is only because the women stand behind us, and say, 'Kill it. Squish it.

-Nightwatch

Places to be, things to do and people to screw...

MT called me on the phone today and we were shooting the breeze when suddenly we decided to come up with a Top 10 list, namely a People We'd Like To Do list. So without further ado here's my personal list ...: P

At number 10,

Jenna Jameson. Need I say more? Every teenage male and some females of my era's wet dream.

At 9,

Kelly Rowland, the hottest chick from Destiny's child I think ...

At 8,

Shakira, Lord! Can that woman move!

At 7,

Keri Hilson, what can I say? I have a thing for that woman ...

At 6,

Shreya, current flavour of Kollwood.

At 5,

Banupriya (Back in the day), CFM baby!!!

At 4,

Ramya Krishnan, at 39, MILF man!

At 3,

Monica Bellucci, 45 ... MILF!!! Need I say more???

At 2,

Angelina Jolie, two words ... BJ Lips! Hmmmm ....

And in the top spot,


Megan Fox ... Need I say more? The whole bad girl things sends many, many impulses to various portions of my anatomy ....

And now, without further delay, we proudly present, MT's top Ten People We'd Like To Do List,

M.T 's Top 10

At number 10

Ryan Gosling - Talented and messed up. Too cool.

at number 9
James Masters - something about the rebel without a cause. Bite me!

At number 8

Marcus Patrick - September 07 playgirl centrefold. You would know why if you saw his Ding Ding.

At number 7

Anderson Cooper - The only time I would give a shit if a rice sack fell in china is when Anderson says it. Intelligent, Humanitarian and possibly gay. Yummy!

At number 6

Simon Baker - Compact of blonde goodness. An ass to die for.

At number 5

Santiago Cabrera - A new addition, to my 'to do' list. There is no need for words.

At number 4

Joshua packwood - Not a celebrity but became the first white valedictorian of Morehouse

College, a historically black college. To have the 'cojones' (balls in Spanish) to be the only white kid in campus and to survive long enough to be class president and valedictorian. Definitely in my do list! Smoking hot Too by the way .

At number 3

David Fumero - come on ... do I have to say more. That's one Cuban cigar you'd smoke with no questions asked.

At number 2

Hugh Jackman - This Aussie is sex on a stick. Take me down under anytime mate:)

At number 1

David Boreanaz - My future octuplets baby daddy.

3 years!!!

When M.T and I started this blog 3 years ago, it was supposed to be our personal whine zone and a kick to the arse to prove to some people that we could blog as well as be in your face up close and personal. And what a roller coaster ride these 3 years have been! The personal triumphs and losses, the good times and the bad, the changes in our lives and those near and dear to us. All of these have been put up on this site. We have very little to hide. And much to expose! :P I've gotten hitched, Prof Aapu is getting his ball and chain prepared for final fitting, M.T left town, Samurai Singaram suffered a personal loss, we'll see you in a different place Big Poppa!!! R.I.P. I've had my own losses, M.T learnt home sickness is a real pain in the ass, the massive get togethers we had when she came back to visit, a new addition to M.T's family... Before you say anything, she's a foot tall and runs on 4 paws... LoL. But most of all we'd like to take a moment to stop and say a big THANK YOU!!! to the people who've followed our whines, sorry, posts through the last three years, the ones who have come by to take a look and the ones who have cursed us for airing our laundry on this blog. You guys have made this blog possible, giving us the motivation, passion and rage required for us to do this. Cheers people!!! There's more to come. A big shout out from M.T and I to everyone who have cheered us on, and for those who doubted... We're still here baby!!! :D Till next time,
Our thought

Men Are Hunters...Let the cavemen be

Why do men get tired of women. Why do they stop trying. Ever wondered why they don't want to meet you as often as they did before? Well the answer is simple.

MEN ARE HUNTERS

Lets go way back. Men are tuned in such away to hunt for everything. Their cave men instinct tells them so. The Hunt is the thrill. The process of trying to get their kill is most satisfying for them than the kill itself. Like for example Take clubbing ladies. Its not about being there Its about making the calls to your girlfriends, choosing what to wear which club to go to, waiting in the line when you get there. When you are inside the excitement isn't as it was 2 hrs ago, now you need the drinks to keep you there. This is how a men's mind work. Why you think they like sports, If they could chase anything they will. They just wanna run after everything. Balls, Cars, Sticks, and WOMEN. If they don't do it, they will sit all day and watch other men chase on TV.

If you are not yet in a relationship, he is working on the hunt to get the kill which is you. If you are already in a relationship the hunt is over. Why is it over ? you already know the answer to that one by now. Yes he is bored. By trying to change them you are messing with the order of nature. What I am going to reveal to you is something that I have learned over many years. The same complain I hear over and over from my boys in my years of being friends with guys is this. Women become too accessible! Yes you heard me Accessible. Ladies stop being available all the freaking time. Stop calling them every 30 Min's. Stop smsing them every 1hr. Stop asking them what they are doing all the time! If you are all the time on your man's face chances are, he is also seeing yours and is bored to death. You have to be far in order for him to hunt you. Imagine waving a nicely cut meat, wash and clean in front of a lion. constantly making sure he has enough meat everyday all day. He doesn't want to eat anymore he is bored to death, cause you not giving him a reason to eat. Its just there any time he wants. He wants to trail, sneak up on his prey and jump. Bottom line he wants to HUNT! He wants to earn his prize. So let your Men earn his Prize which is you.

Here is how you do it.

1. FRIENDS -Make sure you have friends and Keep your friends.

2. HOBBY - Have a hobby, that takes you away from him at least once a week.

3. WORK - If you work, work late sometimes.

4. CALLS - Don't call him more than once a day. The second call has to come from him.

5. FORGET - Say you will call, and don't. If asked. Say you forgot.(that means you have other things in your mind other than him constantly, YES YOU ARE a stalker if you cant stop thinking abt him.)

6. SMS - Sms sweet nothings, never too many questions.

7. OPTION - When he says he is not up to going out, he rather watch Tv. say ok, and go with your friends. (he is not your only option)

This is your 7 habits to be a 'wanted prey'. The more you have a life the more your man wants to be part of it. Not the other way round. Men are cool if you are not part of all aspect of his life. Women make the biggest mistake by wanting Men to be in all aspects of theirs. Stop that now!!! When you stop spending every waking moment together he would want to spend time with you on his own. If you pick up every call, say yes to everything. You are at his disposal. Let him chase you for you time, Let him know he is part of your life and not your WHOLE life. Cause the truth is, you are not his whole life either. At the end you are happy with yourself as a independent woman who has a man still chasing you and he is a happy puppy who gets to run around in his personal space and runs after his owner cause he is just so glad to see her. My last Advice is Every game should be played with a moderate intelligence. So don't try to be too smart by going over board with the 7 habits.

Ladies....Let the chase begin.

M.T

Patrick Swayze ... will always be my Johnny Castle

Not many knew he was the original 'Danny Zuko' in Broadway before John Travolta was cast in Grease. As a 9 year old I watched Swayze dance my heart away in Dirty Dancing with "Time of my life". I didn't even remember Jennifer Grey being in it and I so hated that song yet he stole my little heart. He made men dancing sexy, he made it ok. In Ghost he convinced us his love after death was divine. He fought for Whoopi Goldberg's role, which won her the Oscar. In point break he played a villain 'Bodhi' a cool surfer whom no one could hate but admire. Who knows how many surfers where born after that movie. In City of Joy he touched millions of people with his unbreakable friendship and love he had for a Hazari the rickshaw driver. He was Dr Max Lowe. Not one gossip, not one hatred from a fellow actor, not one bad statement. On Top all Being the very few stars who stayed married to the 15 year old girl he met almost 40 years ago is definitely worth honoring in my opinion. I would like to think he took his long awaited biggest wave of a life time. Ride the wave Bohdi, Surf on dude.

You can do what you want, and make up your own rules.

Why be a servant to the law, when you can be it's master?

'Bohdi'

M.T

CAN I?

Mirror Mirror on the wall

Can I be pretty at all?

I know I like my faded jeans

Big tattered holes at my knees

Thick black eye liners on my lid

Tattoos showing when I lean

I am low maintenance, Not Antoinette

You should consider me knowing that

Mirror Mirror on the wall

Can I be pretty at all?

It's hard to like the fakers I hate

Harder to be nice, to keep my faith

I can' be skinny neither am I tall

My head plays re-runs of pretty ones fall

I like my big bands on my wrist

on Euphoric phase I take lots of risk

Mirror Mirror on the wall

Can I be pretty at all?

I try so hard everyday to look good

But just never enough for you too

There lots of smart girls out there

But simple minded men never play fair

Girls like us work twice as hard

Just to get the job and men we want

Mirror Mirror on the wall

Can I be pretty at all?

Son I am not angry for what you said

I am mad at God for creating men that way

Someday I hope you'd understand

Its easier to be like the rest of them

Find the girl will be there when you fall

Not the ones that around when you walk tall

Mirror Mirror on the wall

Can I be pretty at all?

What if I had a girl and not a boy

what I'd say, just be you, live in joy?

Girls on posters don't look like me mommy

Find your role models somewhere else honey

Oh When will I ever become Beautiful?

You are,no one sees it when its inside you.

Mirror Mirror on the wall

Can the rest of us be pretty at all?

By

M.T

Wednesdays with Bipolar

I was in a deep thought about a conversation I had with someone (lets just call him Dick) last night. He is career driven man who is determined to make changes. When I mean changes I mean in his professional life. you see he has been very successful in everything he sets to do. Failure is a not a word that exist in his dictionary...than again so doesn't words like criticism, romantic, novels, mirror, rhythm and such. As he was advice to 'loosen' up abit at work an advice by a superior he admires most greatly he decides to be more accessible to his co-workers and his subordinates. Calling it Thursdays lunch with Dick. So they can see the other side of him and also he is accessible to them when they would like to have open discussions. As he asked me what I think. I think I used the word 'Brilliant'. I also was thinking at that very moment of the book I think half the world must of read called 'Tuesdays with Morrie'. It was also made into a TV movie later. Its about a true story of professor called Morrie a sociologist and his students, one in particular called Mitch who comes back after many years to visit him when he finds out Morrie is dying. They meet every Tuesday. Morrie teachers him philosophy of life till he dies, as he felt Mitch had not lived his life to the fullest and has not understood people.

I had a little chuckle inside while I took my sip of beer. Dick will be the perfect Morrie in the cut throat corporate world. He is a self proclaimed motivational speaker who supposedly inspires and motivates people at work all the time. In the future I hope there will be many Mitchs who will come up to him and confide in him. But if this was the real world Dick will not be Morrie he will be no doubt Mitch. He is no sociologist and terms like public sociology does not exist in his real world. But ironically it kind of does in his corporate world, for example quoting him,

Organizational behaviour Management (OBM) Towards Organizational Excellence.

Analyzing the fundamentals of organizations and their behaviour, 3 Key factors have to fall in place. People, people and people. Its is about individuals their feelings, beliefs and personal goals driving their behaviour.

what I am trying to get at is learning and adapting to the individual, keeping in mind that their past, their social status, their beliefs as everything to do with their behaviour and outcome of their actions is something that should be considered as long there is a purpose towards a goal and an excellence outcome. The end of the day "my reasons for understanding you is as long the numbers are crunched the projects are completed by date lines and the presentations went successfully. A Price , or rather a tick in the box has to await me in the end.

This is why he will not be Morrie in the real world. Its not that he doesn't understand sociology. He does he wrote briefly about it (may I add with graphs) in his thesis didn't he. Sadly using it one on one in a personal level where else there is no visual treat outcome is unattainable. So, for those who are goal oriented Thursdays with Dick is going to be so super. Cause he is going to listen and understand, and than mould you, I mean motivate you to reach your goal.

And for those who want to have meaningless conversations that go no where, with maybe "a little" alcohol involved, and Little bitching here and there about our fucked up lives that we are forced to live in. Mood swings etc... come on down to Wednesdays with Bipolar. Where M.T meets those lost souls with no aim in life. where we don't find solutions but dwell and embrace our crap. Yes...there is no price at the end. Just the wonderment in your already confused head "why the hell did I meet her in the first place". My Wednesdays availabilities will be handled by my very Attractive secretary nightwatch.

M.T

The little things I can obey.

But the big things, how we think, what we value,

Those you must choose yourself. You cant let anyone

or any society tertermine that for you.

- Morrie Schwartz

Who am I???

Hello dear readers,

Welcome to "Let's find out about Nightwatch" hour...

For those of you who aren't aware, I'm in the midst of finding another job. My m@#&$%&*(ing company has decided not to renew my contract. Why? Let's see... Cuz the Ops managers who took over after my previous Manager were blooming idiots??? One of whom didn't last 3 months in my agency. The other one has no idea what's going on. So plus releasing me he has 2 other staff resigning. Hmmm? Performance issues??? I hope he rots in hell! The bastard!!! Anyways, feeling all depressed I decided to do a personality profile... And here's what it said,

At a Glance

• Works hard, puts in long hours and keeps busy with work.

• Focused on tasks, persists until job is done.

• Detailed, meticulous and observant, quick to pick out abnormalities.

• Objective, but may appear detached.

• Does not seek positions of power or authority.

• A good supporter of others.

• Likes intellectual discussions, likes to explore ideas.

• Needs clear and thorough instructions, slow to act when uncertain.

While at Work

Diligence and discipline are characteristics of Mr Nightwatch's work attitude. He is often pre-occupied with the tasks at hand. As he derives satisfaction from being immersed in work and thrives on being involved, expect Mr Nightwatch to put in long and extended hours at work.

Mr Nightwatch is relatively dependable to deliver results on time. He may sometimes be late in meeting deadlines.

Mr Nightwatch persists with a task until it is completed. Determination, commitment and perseverance are his strength; hence he can be depended upon to meet work obligations. Mr Nightwatch is suitable for long-term projects because he is sufficiently focused to see them through completion.

Mr Nightwatch is likely to be quality-conscious and achievement-oriented. He is motivated to produce work that is of a high standard. He is observant, quick to spot errors and critical where work is concerned. He is likely to be meticulous, careful and pre-occupied with detail.

Mr Nightwatch is an objective person who is impartial and rational. He speaks factually and often does not involve his own feelings and emotions. He may sometimes be perceived as distant or detached.

Although Mr Nightwatch is usually a sympathetic person, he may at times be selective about being involved in the personal problems of people.

Mr Nightwatch is friendly and outgoing when he is with friends although he may at times prefer to be quiet.

Mr Nightwatch selectively forms strong bonds with people although these bonds may not be very deep.

Positions of power, influence and authority are not Mr Nightwatch's concern. He does not mind letting others assert authority over him. He is accommodating, laid back and easy-going.

Mr Nightwatch is moderately concerned with prestige, rank and reputation.

Mr Nightwatch is at times able to engage people to accomplish his objectives.

A good supporter to the people around him, Mr Nightwatch does not desire to lead or influence people. He is uncomfortable taking charge and does not feel the thrill of challenge in leading others. He prefers to responds rather than initiate. He looks to others to provide direction and does not naturally want to persuade or motivate others to take a certain course of action.

Intellectually inquisitive and extremely interested in knowledge acquisition, Mr Nightwatch enjoys discussing hypothetical or theoretical issues. He is conceptual and likes to explore abstract ideas. Mr Nightwatch is a thinker, creative and inventive of ideas. He enjoys reading and is happiest sourcing for new ideas and information.

Mr Nightwatch puts in effort to plan ahead some of the times. He may at times not be as detailed in his planning.

Mr Nightwatch is generally able to express himself although not to a high degree of eloquence.

Being one who needs clear and thorough instructions before he can proceed on action, Mr Nightwatch resists when conditions are uncertain. He does not adapt easily to changes. Before he embarks on a new project, expect Mr Nightwatch to find out more and probe deeply.

Totally restored faith in myself man! Though I'm not too happy with the eloquence bit. What? Me not eloquent??? The bloody chee-b**s! :P Any comments anyone? Any disputes? Holla back if you got anything!!! Anyways, I gotta go, time to get back to the grind. Till next time,

Our thought for the day,

Just reflecting on the fact that when the Universe punches you in the teeth, it never just lets you fall down. It kicks you in the ribs a couple of times and dumps mud on your head.

-Nightwatch

WHY ME?

Its been the most exhausting week. The weekend was too much for me and the week is definately not the most relaxing. Evil Evil sadistic man is on a business trip...lucky bastard. while i am stuck with his of spring aka mini me of evil evil sadistic man ! who happens to think just because the father bought the rights to making my life miserable, he automatically inherits the fucking rights. All I hear the fucking day is "when is he coming, when is he coming, when is he coming back?" Me like a fucking idiot giving the little brat the same fucking answer every single time. SUNDAY!!! how hard is it to remember one miserable word? Sunday. After the second day I realised its not course he cant remember the word/day. Its just soooooo fun to see my face go...OH GOD WHY ME. Its pure evilness I say. In fact while I am typing this , this very moment he is right in front going, is he coming today X a million fucking times. Yesterday was when I really wished the roof will fall on my head and I will die instantly. The sun is blazing through the windows its fucking 40c outside AND inside.

He goes "mommy what day is it today?"

"its Wednesday"

"When is Daddy coming home?"

"Sunday"

"so how many nights is that?"

"4 nights, the last night is Saturday night and when you wake up its Sunday and daddy will be here ok"

"mommy, is it Saturday night now?"

WTF

"its in the middle of the afternoon!!! The sun is so hot, I am thinking of baking a cake outside to safe energy so Al Gore will be proud of me. What the hell do you mean if its Saturday night!"

"YEAH YEAH YEAH , are you baking a cake for daddy? can I help mommy Pleaseeeeeeeeeee Pleaseeeeeeeeeeee, so i can give it to him Tomorrow."

Lord Jesus Christ, safe me man. what did i do that is so wrong that you decided to punish me like this? I'm not asking too much. 8 hrs of sleep , to be able to take a shower longer than 5 mins without a creepy child standing there face pressed against the fucking glass door going " what you doing Mommy?" or go to the toilet, without him standing out side banging on the door shouting "MOMMY ARE YOU DOING PEE PEE OR POO POO?!" I am so sure the neighbours are aware of my bowel moment times better than their own.

what is so different about this business trip? compared to all those countless ones? This torture seems to be planned and choreographed and I am being abused by the Germans and I am not gonna stand by it. Its time to look into my trick bag. Get creative. Its FUCKING WAR now you bloody sausage eating assholes. I am taking them both down. Its ON!

M.T

Liebe Daddy

Here is a conversation I had with a friend yesterday about the dog we got. Everyone as been asking how is she, she must make us so happy blah blah blah. I thought I just up up this conversation up so those who wanna know how I feel about the dog and especially about the people around the dog.

King Kong : so how is the dog doing?

Me : I guess what normally dogs do.

King Kong : no I meant how is she with the family you idiot.

Me : oh, well she is acting like a untrained stupid dog and so are the people around her. except me of course.

King kong : lol god what did he do ?

Me : you know I found a dog trainer who comes every week to teach us how to go about training puppies.

King Kong : uh ok what could go wrong.

Me : this is me. Everything goes wrong. Well I never knew that dogs could be bilingual. did you?

King Kong : they are?

Me : well she has to be now. The instruction words like come, sit, lye down, stand etc are in English from 9am to 7 pm.

King Kong : what happens after 7pm?

Me : its in German la.

King Kong : you serious?!

me : Yup. Its very weird. He cant help himself, every time he sees her he has to speak in German to her. Its an urge, almost like an itch on the side of his balls or something.

King Kong : did you tell him, he shouldn't do that?

me : come on you know me. My whole life is dedicated to telling him what he shouldn't do. Does he ever listen? as usual he always has an Aryan answer for everything. Anyways, I think its psychological.

King Kong : Oh boy, i cant wait to hear.

Me: I think he is so used to speaking to bimbos in German. So when he comes home and immediately there is a bitch jumping around and so glad to see him and sniffs his balls. He starts speaking to her in German. You know out of old habits perhaps? What you think?

King Kong : Will you put this convo up in the blog?

Me: I guess so, if you like.

King Kong : Than my answer is Yes it could be. lol.

Me : So I don't know why do I sit through the training lessons, take notes like an idiot and even pay for it, when no one is following the training instructions. So I have decided not to join the training anymore and get my $$$ back.

King Kong : caught between all this, that poor jack Russell!

Me : Not any more she aint. she converting to a German Shepard.

King Kong : I love you!

Me : I love you too.

King Kong : when you posting this up?

Me: tomorrow.

Semper crescis, Aut decrescis...

A friend of ours recently put up a shoutout in facebook. Not in any language used in Singapore by the way, but in latin. Here it is in it's full latin glory,

Semper crescis
Aut decrescis
Vita detestabilis
Nunc obdurat
Et tunc curat
Ludo mentis aciem
Nunc obdurat
Et tunc curat
Ludo mentis aciem
Egestatem
Potestatem
Dissolvit ut glaciem

M.T and Prof Aapu were so puzzled by it they callled me up and requested I research it and get the translation. And this my friends, is the translation.

O Fortune,
like the moon,
you are changeable,
ever waxing,
and waning.
Hateful life,
first oppresses,
and then soothes,
as fancy takes it.
Poverty and power,
it melts them like ice.

Apparently these lyrics have by and large been plundered from Carl Orff's Carmina Burana and used by a band called Era in one of their songs. We have just one question... Why in the name of all that is remotely logical could she not put it in simple, bloody english??? Newsflash! It does not not make you alluring, mysterious or even remotely sexy! It just makes people think you're looking down on them.Grow up man! Live in the real world. Stop thinking life is predestined... We write our own destiny! And just to prove we're as smart as you we're replying in kind!!! So there!!! Nyah! Nyah! :P

Sors immanis
et inanis
rota tu volubilis
status malus
vana salus
semper dissolubilis
obumbrata
et velata
michi quoque niteris
nunc per ludum
dorsum nudum
fero tui sceleris

Our thought for the day,

The moon may kiss the stars so high, the sun may kiss the bright blue sky.The dew may kiss the morning grass, But you my friend, can kiss my ass.

-Nightwatch

- Fate, monstrous

- and empty,
- you whirling wheel,
- you are malevolent,
- well-being is vain
- and always fades to nothing,
- shadowed
- and veiled
- you plague me too;
- now through the game
- I bring my bare back
- to your villainy.

The only excuse to be not so clever is, if you are white

Have you ever notice when you listen to white ppl ( PLS note that I have the decency to acknowledge the whites as all, white Scottish, English AMERICANS, GERMANS, FRENCH...etc)talk about Asians they don't mean us or the rest of us. When the whites for example say 'hey they are showing an Asian movie" or when they say " do they play Asian music in the clubs?" They don't mean the Turkish or the Pakistanis or not even the Russians. They mean the Chinese. White ppl don't consider or rather have no idea how fucking BIG Asia is. This is how small Asia is for them...Korea, HongKong, Taiwan and of cause our ever favourite China. So basically if you have no eye lid you are an Asian and rest of us ...are 'others'. How the fuck is it that Asia is the world's largest and most populous continent, and there are only 4 countries in it? Not also forgetting that we cover 60% of the world's current human population. That Definitely is possible with 4 countries. Sorry Sorry I left out Japan I stand corrected they also consider Japan as an Asian country, all thanks to The Karate kid. Poor Mr Miyagi had to play that bloody character 4 times (including the next karate kid, oh god.) so the Americans can get it. How many times do we have to use Aiswarya the Naai, to get it through their head?! Please you dumb fucks get it already cause I can't see the bitch 1 more time myself. I am sure my brown sisters will agree with me, we don't want a skinny white, colored eyed bitch representing Indian(Asian by the way) beauty. FUCK YOU Aiswarya, thanks to you, no ass holes believe we are Indians when we travel. Oh and those who Know a little about Asia, act as if they know more than they do. Met a German guy 1st time at his place, he shakes my hand and says...


German asshole : "do you speak English?"
pretty me : "yes I do",
German asshole : "good. cause I don't speak Hindi."

WTF!!! ( not only he knows I am from Singapore obviously I Speak English, and he knows that i am Indian, both Places where the bloody English were!! not that i am proud of it. My horror is I should be asking him if he speaks English. When did his Grandmother get her Vagina deflowered my an English "gentleman"?!.

Pretty me : "Neither do I asshole"
German asshole : "sorry what?"
Pretty me : " NEITHER DO I!"
German asshole: " What is your language""
Pretty me : " My mother tongue is Tamil"
German asshole : " Oh I see"
Pretty Me : no you don't as if you knw what tamil is
German Asshole :"How many languages are there?"
Pretty me : "About 20 at least I guess"
German asshole: "OH............Pls come in to the living room"
Pretty me : "of cause, after you, dummes Schwein"

The highlight of this is his kid's godmother is supposedly Indian. Good job asshole on researching on your kids godmother's country and culture!

Anyways back to White ppl are not so clever. So from now on whoever is reading this (applies to Asians only) shall take the responsibilities upon themselves. I don't care where you come from...Vietnam, Maldives or Cyprus. You meet a white person introduce yourself name, country and CONTINENT!!! specify the CONTINENT. Eventually one day...in 300 hundred years perhaps if the world survives, global warming, starvation, nuclear wars. The white ppl will get it and decide to take a peek at the world map. Just a peek will do.

ps: You can't fix stupid

By

M.T

A "Fine" City...

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Death by Mammaries

This post is rated NC 16.
Minors not allowed.
This means you Little Turtle!!!

Last Friday, Prof Aapu, M.T, Mrs Nightwatch aka Little Turtle and myself got together to celebrate M.T's short R&R back in Singapore.. As usual that meant trying to get as high as possible in as short a time as possible. A friend of mine was saying he was spinning rock at BarNone and that the band performing there was pretty decent. Since M.T and I are both huge rock fans we decided to go and check out the scene. So the bunch of us met at Marriott at 11pm all ready to party. We walked in... And found out BarNone had moved! And the new place, Dragonfly was a chink joint which played chink music all night. That put a damper right then... However, us being the resourceful people we are immediately came up with a new plan! We decided we wanted to be surrounded by hookers and overweight, old white, horny men. You guessed it boys and girls, we made our merry way to Brix. After paying the cover of $25 per person, we went in and our wildest dreams were fulfilled... NOT!!! Every male in the club immediately started tracking M.T and Little Turtle with their eyes, what was running through their minds wasn't difficult to guess but I'm keeping an open mind... :P Prof Aapu decided to tour the place and we ended up showcasing the ladies to a lot of very, very dirty old men... Well behaved but still dirty old men. Finally, we found a table and got our drinks. Word of advise, if you're not gonna buy the hookers a drink, go to the serving areas of the bar cuz they sure ain't gonna give you place to place your order. So as we sat there having our very weak, and I mean weak drinks. I came out with a new plan, Chimes, more specifically Le Baroque. There was a brief argument as to where to go to but M.T and I won out in the end. It's good to have powerful friends... Hehehehe. So after finishing our drink, we made our way to Le Baroque. For those of you whom haven't been there go check it out. The band, The Shaggys play there and they are awesome!!! The drinks are pretty reasonably priced. And that's where we saw them, those weapons of mass destruction. Prof Aapu, M.T and I went out to smoke and that's when I spotted this phillipina chick rushing out of the club and good lord was she overflowing!!! And she wasn't wearing a push up!!! We were amazed! Back in the club Prof Aapu and I were discussing the phenomena and came to the conclusion if she were a cow whichever village she was from would never want for milk... And that's when we came to another discovery, she was sitting behind us, allowing us to scrutinize those jugs in depth... After a while a white boy picked her up, and we were commenting on the fact that if he was suffocated by her he'd die happy. So after all the usual knockers jokes Prof Aapu and I went for another where we analysed the possibilites of how she got those double D's and came to the conclusion that she got them from her mama... :D We then proceeded to Insomnia. By this time, Little Turtle who thought she could drink like a fish, found out there she was more of a hamster and was more than a little tipsy had to go to the toilet... Where some ugly white bitch had the audacity to comment I looked like a stalker. *Sigh* Anyways... Gotta go, next update, Ops Peru 2nd anniversary celebrations... Till next time,

Our thought for the day,

No Matter how big you think you are in this world, at the end of the day everybody still has to wipe their own ass.

-Nightwatch

Hope this makes you happy

Someone has been disappointed that I have never mentioned him or said a funny story about him in the blog since we started writing. The other day he mentioned How Disappointed he was that I never got inspired by him. This were his exact words. "I used to make you cry, and even laugh at times. I thought I was your Muse at least interesting enough to write or at least vent about, have you taken me out of your life entirely, don't I exist in your little Psycho world anymore you cold hearted bitch?" My answer to him was "I thought you didn't want the whole world to know you are an ass hole? ok I Mean the 5 ppl who read the blog to knw at least"

Since you insist... here goes. What can I write about you? Where shall I start? How about the time when you took enough courage to speak to me for the first time. Or the time when you laughed at me when I tripped and fell flat on my face in front of the whole class and you said to your loser friends "I guess she has fallen for me!" I can keep going on. There are just too many memories we share and there are many that will be always sacred to the both of us. To tell you the truth I have learnt to appreciate you more now, than I ever did before. The way you make me laugh, how you have never failed to be a friend I can depend on even when I push you away. I love the thought that we spent almost our whole life time together, we can start conversation with, do you remember when we...Most of all, I have always appreciated and have been attracted to your biggest strength. Honesty. If I might add, That's Fucking Sexy! There I said it Happy?

Chinky...my love, You the bomb.

M.T

CHRIS BROWN IS AH NEH (Click link on the left to be convinced?)

Jason : how the fuck did u survive without the net?

M.T : unlike you morons, i do read

King kong : when she says moron she means you Jas

Jason : look who is talking, the last time you had a book in your hands bush senior was president.

M.T : I think he just had in his hands, he never read it.

King Kong : Chicks dig guys who dont read

Jason : Oh god here we go again

King Kong : you think all these Rapper guys read ? Hell NO!

M.T : I think they are around them cause they have $$ not cause they dont read

King Kong : I am not talking only abt the Groupies, 4 example you think janet jackson has no money and has to date jermaine to buy her tampons? cant be for looks either, they guy looks like a toad!

Jason : makes sense and i am sure jermaine has not read a book in his life. I also dont think Janet jackson needs tampons any more. Definitely menopausal.

M.T : Definitely menopausal

King Kong : see i am right. I think the black chicks are little like Akka. They like dumb guys, possessive guys, guys who act like gangsters.

Jason : for example ?

King Kong : For example believe or not Chris Brown is a Ah Neh

M.T : haha, shit he is rite.

Jason : that doesnt make Rihana a Akka does it? She called the cops on his ass rite?

M.T : sure it does, Ya she did call the cops and all but she also did mention that it wasnt the first time he hit her, so as long she stayed after the 1st hit, she is a Akka.

King Kong : see now you believe me. Rihana is a Akka plays victim and Chris Brown is a macho Ahneh.

Jason : shit i didnt knw that part. what kind of a stupid bitch stays around to find out if he will hit her again or not

M.T : Akkas?

King Kong : Akkas

M.T : haha, on a serious note I never tot you wld ever come up with something smart like that.

King Kong : bitch

Jason : I feel sad for these girls man, why do they think its ok to be hit around like a punching bag. Arent there not enough gd man?

King Kong : well there are few bro, but they turn gay like you...hehehe

M.T : I wld have loved to experience a relationship with an Ah Neh at least once in my life. So sad. With my curse and all it never happened. sob...

King Kong : actually thank god for that. I can already imagine visiting you in prison for manslaughter. Any poor Ah neh cld have not even fantasize abt hitting you, you wld have chopped his dick off and mailed it to his mother, for raising him wrong.

Jason : so true bro, thats a crazzzyyyy Bitch!

M.T : Bastards